Now, I’m sure Seattle, Santa Barbara, Nashville, Myrtle Beach and Fort Lauderdale are all wonderful places. I can even admit that Buffalo, Atlanta, Newark and Minneapolis may have their charms. However between the car service, the hotel, and the conference centers there usually isn’t much room for interpretation or judgment. These are about all I ever see of a place on a business trip, so usually I don’t have much to say about a place once I’ve returned.
The sole exception to this was Los Angeles. As a God fearing Texan, I shudder when I remember that this place is actually called the City of Angels. Never in my life have I ever seen such an abomination. Everyone is jaded, no one is righteous or just, and everyones trying to get laid – or rather whore themselves out. After my second trip there – one which featured a stoned waiter, a bipolar bell hop and a transvestite cab driver – I vowed never to return to that unholy city. As it turned out, the choice would not be mine.
“Keller was a real shark in his day,” Jim told me, as if that was supposed to excite me about the prospect of traveling with a guy who had retired three years ago and had no real interest in the company anymore. For Keller, this probably was a vacation.
“I can’t wait,” I lied through my teeth. “Where are we going?”
“Los Angeles.”
Fuck. “Really?” I asked.
“I know, I know. I spoil you with these sunshine and palm trees trips, but I hope you remember to get some work done,” Jim said while I pictured myself beating him to a pulp with the lamp on his desk. “Keller will stay on top of you, I’m not worried.”
I drove home from work that day with my head in a fog. Los fuckin’ Angeles, with Keller, the retired shark. Chalk another one on to my losing streak. I stopped for a quick bite to eat; there was never any food in the house since Jane left in August. The pregnant waitress flirted with me shamelessly, unaware that I was the victim of a divorce and custody battle gone wrong. She might have been cute, but all I saw when I looked at her was sin and loss. I glanced at the T.V. At least the Mavs were winning.
That’s when it occurred to me. I had forgotten completely about this weekend’s Western roadtrip: the Mavericks were in L.A. for a Sunday afternoon game with the Clippers. I loved going to basketball games live, but the success of our home team had driven ticket prices higher each year. Surely the lowly Clippers had tickets that were easier to get, I thought. No one could possibly be devoted to a team that horrible. I could see the team I loved, that I dedicated my passion to year in and year out, play for mere pennies on the dollar.
I paid the bill excitedly and drove home, eager to look up tickets online. I would buy one for Keller, I thought, as a gesture of respect and goodwill. Then he couldn’t possibly turn me down. The prospect was still percolating bliss through my being when I passed through my front door and walked right to my computer. As I logged onto the Clippers ticket site, I felt my Blackberry vibrated in my pocket. I ignored this for the time being, manuevering through the internet to eventually purchase two center court tickets for a grand total of $24, about $40 less than a single similar ticket at the American Airlines Center in Dallas.
Once I had confirmed the order, I took out my phone and saw an e-mail from Jim. Attached was my boarding pass for Los Angeles, and as I remembered how much I hated LAX, a horrible thought dawned on me. What if Keller was a horrible person? Not in the sense of being a bad tipper or an axe murderer, but in the sense of having poor taste. What if Keller hated basketball as much as I hated L.A.? Or worse, what if he loved the “City of Angels” so much that he relished in it and insisted on showing me around the sinners paradise one shithole strip club at at time? I panicked, he was my elder and my superior, so I was essentially at his disposal. Purchasing the tickets may have seemed courteous at first, but I was forcing my agenda on him which was unwise and impolite.
It was also clear that I wouldn't be seeing Keller before the trip. He was a seasoned vet being called in for duty; he had no reason to show up at the office for a briefing or anything like that. His assignment was easy: he was coming along to make sure that I didn't go crazy plaster the hotel walls with my brains. Now, that's not to say that Jim or anyone else at the office knew I was slowly climbing out of the crater left by a catastrophic few months... but damn near everyone could see that I hadn't been myself lately, in a worst case scenario kind of way. I ate alone at lunch. I drank after work, but avoided the bars where my friends would be intentionally. I was reading a lot of Nietzsche. These symptoms of psychosis, or at least depression, were visible to all. Was this intentional on my part?
Whatever the case, Keller wasn't along to help close the deal. He was keeping an eye on the talented young headcase who was taking on a job that was well within his normal capabilities. Misery may love company, but true and total destruction requires absolute solitude. Keller was my link to society for this trip into the horrid city that scared me more than even my own thoughts.
I still had no idea what to do about the tickets as I drifted through a week of bullshit and preperation. The flight was scheduled for early morning Thursday, and as I left work on Wednesday I felt sick to my stomach. I decided against getting dinner on the way home, resolving instead to heat up some frozen pizza back at the house. I was going to be away from my home for four days, and I could use a heavy dose of it before I left. It was all I had kept in the divorce.
About two minutes after I got in my door, the phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Paul. It's Cap Keller. I just wanted to call and touch base."
"Oh, yeah, great. We take off in about twelve hours, huh?"
"That's right," Keller said. His voice lacked the predatory nature of the shark he had once been. "What are your thoughts?"
"Well, I actually read over the briefing again today and it looks like we're in good shape," I answered.
"Good," he paused. "Actually, I kind of wanted to see what you'd like to do on Sunday before our return flight. We should have the deal closed by mid day Saturday at the latest, you know? I lived in L.A. back when I was first married, so I know the scene pretty well."
Christ, I thought. I was right. This man had spent the first few years of marital life diving head first into the full contact strip clubs of L.A. county. He was probably planning on buying me a dozen prostitutes after Sunday brunch, just so he could watch and get some sick kick out of it. My silence prompted him to speak.
"To be honest, I'm not really into much of it out there," he admitted, sounding defeated. "I just figured a younger guy like you would want to see some of the City..."
"No," I said, trying to sound tired rather than relieved. "I'm not really much for L.A. really. It's too..."
"Dirty," he concluded. "And compromised. I know. I never liked it, but my wife fed off the life force there, I guess."
Wow, I had hit the jackpot with a travel companion. This guy actually seemed to be on my page, somehow. Suddenly I was seeing Jim as a genius rather than a cruel operator. If someone was going to look after me, this Keller, the upstanding, honest citizen who succumbs to the needs of others was clearly the best candidate for the job. Perhaps for any job in the history of the world. I would have nominated him for Senator based on our brief exchange.
"Well," Keller started, "what are you into, Paul?"
It was more wide open than a foul shot. "Well, basketball mostly."
"Basketball! That's right! The Mavericks are in L.A. this weekend! You a big fan?"
"Oh, yeah," I said, "Huge. Once I nail enough of these business trips for Jim I plan on getting season tickets."
Keller chuckled at this. "Well, what do you say? Want me to snag us some tickets?"
Shit. If I had just had faith in the higher being and waited for things to work out, I wouldn't have even had to pay... oh, well. Too late now.
"Funny thing Cap, I kind of jumped the gun on that and already ordered a pair."
He exploded with laughter at this, taking great pleasure in the fact that he'd found out about my secret agenda. "That's great, I'm glad we'll have something to talk about on the plane tomorrow. A fan like you must really know his stuff about the game. I'd love to pick your brain."
Too good to be true. The guy even wanted to listen to me talk about basketball. "Sounds great," I said, "I'll see you in the morning?"
"That's right, have a nice night, Paul."
"Have a good one, Cap." Cap. Fucking Cap. This guy was clearly my new best pal. I was so excited to spend time with the basketball loving Christian who had dominated my profession for twenty-five years once upon a time that I could barely fall asleep that night. It was like waiting for Santa to come.
My alarm was actually welcome that morning, despite the early hour. I got ready fairly quickly, and the cab came right on time at 5:45. I was ready to meet this Keller character and start our assault on Los Angeles, business trips and all things unholy.
I tipped the cab driver way more than usual that morning, aspiring to show the courtesy I expected others to show me on this long West Coast adventure. I grabbed my suitcase from the trunk and slung my backpack over my left shoulder. When I found the security line for our terminal, I saw Cap Keller waiting for me.
He was wearing a brown suit, jacket and all. I had ditched the blazer for this flight for the sake of comfort, but I now felt underdressed. He was almost bald, but short white hairs were visible above his wrinkled forehead and green eyes. He formed a close mouthed smile when he saw me approaching and realized that I was the boy wonder he was here to accompany.
"Pleased to meet you Paul," he said, thrusting his hand out towards me. I set my backpack down and shook his hand. He didn't have the commanding grip I expected, but no one's perfect.
"You too, Cap. You ready for this trip?"
"Ha, I'm never 'ready' for a work trip," he said, "but hey, weekend warriors, right? Oh, by the way, I've got to show you something." He unzipped him suitcase and pulled out a red baseball cap, hiding what was on it from my view.
I was curious; was this an expression of company pride? I had never seen a Oasis Education Corp. hat, but maybe it was from his day as a sales rep. Maybe it was a ritual: a lucky sales hat that he always wore on flights. I stood there waiting for an explanation.
"Ready?" he asked.
"Sure," I shrugged, confused by his excitement over a silly hat.
"Alright!" he exclaimed as he put the cap on his head. I was speechless.
It was a Los Angeles Clippers hat. A representation of the most unsuccessful franchise in the history of American professional sport... an emblem of loss. Yet he wore it with a smile... was it a joke?
"You're Mav's are goin down, buddy!" he said.
Nope. No joke here. This man was an honest-to-goodness Clippers fan. The personification of sorrow and dissapointment. Every season that began was like the start of a funeral for a fan like him, a slow procession towards a burial that most of the world was entirely unaware of and unconcerned with.
I was surely a miserable person all the way through my being at that point in my life, but I felt lucky at this moment. I hadn't been born into the tradition of unconditionally supporting a perennial loser. I had the constant comfort of knowing that the team I supported at least wasn't cursed. Things could be worse for me, I realized at that moment. My facial expression must have gave these thoughts away, because his smile dissapeared and he looked down with a defeated nod.
"Yeah," he said, "I know. It's rough."
